First story:

Not my story but told to me by an old woman in a pub. She worked for Aer Lingus when it first opened as a FA. Usually the short haul trips between Ireland and England, she got offered a raise if she did a couple of transatlantic flights.

Coming back from Chicago there was a man who kept “coming onto her” or as she said “some old married fucker kept slapping my ass and calling me honey. I thought to meself, fuck this.” She proceeds to tell me how she brought the guy to the bathroom, feinted pulling down his trousers and punched him directly in the balls.

She was fired for it, but told the story to me and a group of friends, she passed about four years ago and I keep telling her stories where I can to keep her memory alive.

Second story:

During university, I was a flight attendant on a charter airline. The airline mostly flew government contracts — either prisoners going to a well known detention center, or military personnel. There were occasionally more “fun” charter groups such as a time when a company chartered two planes to take their staff to The World Cup. 

I was the head flight attendant on a 757 with a total of eight flight attendants on this particular flight. We were transporting a group of all men. Maybe a total of 45 men. They were spread out throughout the plane. These men were returning from a military assignment. One of the flight attendants was particularly flirty with a few of the men. Halfway through the flight, I noticed there was a massive queue at one of the AFT lavatories but as there were multiples back there I was curiously watching what was happening before making my way back there. After a while, I went to the back to suggest they use the other vacant LAV. They all said they were okay waiting. I found that odd. I went to walk around and then returned a second time. I knew something odd was happening as the same guy was still waiting to enter the LAV. 

In that moment, I decided to knock on the door. No answer. I knocked again. Still no answer. There is a way to unlock the door from the outside, so I did that. What I saw blew my mind. The flight attendant who was particularly flirty was sat on the toilet. A passenger was in front of her with his pants down. You can guess what was happening I’m sure. The mind blowing part, once he exited the LAV, I noticed she was covered in semen. I mean she looked like she’d dunked her head in the Krispy Kreme donut glazing bath.  

That was the day I learned what bukkake was. 

As the head flight attendant, I had to inform the captain. I also had to inform the person in charge of the group of men. The flight attendant had her employment terminated immediately. She sat in the toilet until we landed and was sent home on a commercial flight as a passenger. 

The men had a very stern talking to by their leader. They weren’t allowed out of their seats for the rest of the flight. The captain thought I was joking but quickly realized I wasn’t. He kept asking me if I was sure there was no mix up and what I saw couldn’t have been something else. I asked him what else he thought it could have been. 

This was the longest flight of my life after this discovery. It was completely silent and we mostly stayed in the galleys. I was flabbergasted. Passengers hooking up with flight attendants or at least exchanging contact information was common on some charter flights but offering sexual pleasure inflight wasn’t part of the job. 

Third story:

An old lady waited until the seatbelt sign went on prior to landing, then got up to go to the toilet. Flight attendant came over, told her she had to sit down. There was a language barrier. There was lots of arguing. The old lady then slapped the flight attendant and a couple of others flight attendants rushed in.

The old lady was sat back down, proceeded to shit herself, and was then arrested when the plane landed.