"Oh, yes, yes, great, yes, um, yes, oh my god, oh my god, um, um..."

This feeling is hard to put into words - so listen to the podcast - but the moans during sex are truly very sexy. Your partner will be excited when they hear them, and in fact, this will also bring you a more pleasurable experience.

Why? First of all, we all hope that our partners will feel pleasure during sex. No one wants to have sex with someone who doesn't enjoy it, especially when the other person is your beloved one - and knowing that you are good at pleasing your partner can also enhance your sexual confidence. Pleasing your partner is in itself a form of enjoyment!

Then, when we make sounds, we personally feel better. Why? Because we are opening and releasing. We are breathing, we are allowing sensations, pleasures and energy to flow. This will generate more positive feelings. If you feel tense and hold back, then there is no flow and no release.

When we let the sound come from deep within the body, the effect is particularly good. High-pitched sounds from the upper part of the torso or throat are excellent, but imagine how it would feel when you sink your body to the abdomen and pelvis and let the sound come from the very core of your being. Pay attention to how the sensation changes when the pitch, intensity, volume, etc. of the sound vary.

Now, I would like to emphasize a key point - some people believe that when having sex, one should make sounds like the "indecent words" in pornographic films, being vulgar and even derogatory, such as "Have sex with me, buddy" or "You this vulgar slut" and so on. Listen, if you like it, then fine, but for the majority of people, this is not what they enjoy, especially when speaking to the person they love. Such words will only make them feel disgusted, rather than excited.

Another common issue that arises when engaging in sexual activity is the belief that it must be expressed through words. Similarly, if you genuinely enjoy doing so and it doesn't cause any problems, then go ahead. If you prefer to tell stories during sex and this helps you stay focused and connected, that's great. If you focus on providing pleasure to your partner rather than experiencing it yourself, then it's certainly easier to do. However, when you experience pleasure, whether it's because your partner is focused on your hands or mouth, or because you are engaged in a shared activity like sexual intercourse, many people find it difficult to control their emotions once they start speaking.

I suspect this is because, when you enter that state of intense emotional consciousness and experience the "emotional transformation" I described in my previous blog post, your brain shifts from the logical, focused left hemisphere to the broader, more ambiguous right hemisphere (for more details, please refer to my article "Sex in the Right Brain"). The language center is located on the left side of the brain, so if you are on the right side, your language center will not be involved. Therefore, in order to be able to speak, you must transfer your consciousness to the left side so that you can interact with the language center. You must withdraw yourself from a broad, euphoric, aimless state and enter a state of alertness and concentration, so that you will lose all that wonderful, ecstatic trance-like connection.

So, what's the solution? It's quite simple - use your breathing. When you exhale, make a sound. Try using a low and high-pitched tone. Close your mouth and say "um", open your mouth and say "ah". Then add some simple words, such as "yay", "good", "oh my god" and so on. (Listen to my podcast version and watch me demonstrate orally.) Practice alone so that you can get used to this feeling and won't feel embarrassed. Or to have some fun, sit opposite your partner and practice together - it will really be exciting!

You might ask, what if it's too noisy? Well, pillows and cushions are exactly for this purpose. Especially those small pillows placed in front of the large ones. When you want to vent your frustration, they are the best to cover your mouth and make you keep moaning!

Um...