A few days ago, my teenage son came to see me, proudly declaring that among all his friends, only he had had sex.

He treated me so openly and honestly, which initially shocked me. Although all three of my children have been very honest about their sexual orientation because that's how I raised them, I was still surprised because I had never been able to be so honest with my own parents before. I asked him if it meant that his friends hadn't had sex yet.

"No, Mom," he clarified, "They had sex, but it was just boring teenage sexual behavior. But me and Kate, we really did have sex." A bright and contented smile appeared on his face.

"So, what's the difference between ordinary sexual activity and making love?" I asked.

"Oh, Mom, at the beginning we would spend a lot of time making out. Then we would have sex only when we were really deeply engaged. We would do it slowly and it felt great. We could keep doing it for a very long time. You know, it was all because of the things you told me that made it wonderful. There were also other things, you know, that we discovered ourselves. Kate felt great as soon as she got into the mood. Yeah, my friends wouldn't do it that way."

Why should I share this (with his somewhat reluctant consent)? There are several reasons.

First of all, it should be pointed out that having open conversations with children is extremely beneficial for helping them have a high-quality and beneficial sexual life. If you don't do this, they will obtain sexual inspiration from pornographic films and will not be able to learn about high-quality sexual life from such media.

Secondly, we often assume that young people, especially young men with high levels of testosterone, must have intense and rapid sexual encounters. Only after reaching adulthood can they develop more gentle and affectionate ways of having sex - if you believe that sexual activity can develop in this way. Many people think that sexual encounters are intense and rapid when one is young, and then gradually weaken until they disappear. But as my son and his brother have demonstrated, teenagers can also "have sex".

Now, combining these two points, young people can have high-quality sexual experiences. They can "have sex" if their parents are willing to guide them to discover this. It would be very beneficial. But of course, in order to have such high-quality communication with children, you first need to feel at ease with your own sexual orientation. So, I'm glad you read my blog! Because for most of us, self-awareness and understanding require a significant improvement in order to engage in sexual behavior in such a normal and natural way - without negative emotions such as shame, guilt, fear, disgust, embarrassment, depression, resentment, etc.; instead, there is only kindness, pleasure, safety, trust, joy, freedom, and of course, the feeling of love.