Fans of "The Big Bang Theory" will surely remember this scene: Sheldon scolds Amy for betraying him. "She deserves to be punished," he says. A slap on the bottom - just the right amount. Then, an unusual physical contact occurred between these two characters. This less reserved scientist lay on his boyfriend's knee to receive the punishment. Of course, the words were slightly comical, but Amy's expression perfectly captured the excitement at that moment. "What I know is that nothing is more wonderful than the buttocks arching up, straightening, and then extending out in a plea for the next punch. They submit and resist in the same movement..." (The Art of Slapping, by Jean-Pierre Enard).

Sado-masochism involving spanking is nothing new. It has no punitive intent; it does not involve real punishment or violence. The verb itself has suggestive and erotic connotations and should have nothing to do with punishment in childhood (thank goodness, this form of discipline is no longer the norm nowadays). It should also not be associated with misogyny or violence, as Nietzsche said in Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1883): "Do you look for women? Don't forget the whip." Nakedness, high temperatures, voluntary submission, and adrenaline. The body secretes endorphins, and the pleasure surges.

What is spanking?

In the context of eroticism, the pleasure and origin of spanking or being spanked can be traced back easily throughout history. For instance, in an Etruscan painting from circa 490 BC in Tauruggia (Italy), the so-called "Penitential Tomb" depicts two men spanking a woman's buttocks for sexual pleasure. The ancient Romans attributed this practice with almost magical power. During the Bacchanalia festival, men would run around with whips, spanking anyone they encountered, in order to enhance the fertility of women and the impotence of men. In fact, in Petronius' "Satirical Poems", a female priest suggested using nettle branches to spank Encopius to treat his impotence (not recommended, as it might be a bit painful).

Now, we naturally turned our conversation to 19th-century Britain and the widespread custom of turning young people's butts into bright red tomatoes as a way to discipline children. Historian Ian Gibson, in his book "The Vice of Britain", explored the connection between punishment and sexual pleasure during the Victorian era: "In my opinion, any discussion about British sexual concepts cannot be separated from flogging. Flogging originated in public schools and quickly spread worldwide. Countless victims could not rely on flogging - whether real or imagined - to obtain the punishment. They not only were doomed to lead lives filled with shame and indescribable desires, which made it difficult or impossible for them to have satisfactory marital relationships, but their situation also gave rise to an ocean of pornographic works, where people's longing for childhood scenes and their consequences were infinitely reenacted."

Regardless of the analysis and interpretation, spanking oneself or being spanked is not inherently wrong, pathological, or cruel. It is a physical and mental game that both parties must agree to. Roles are assigned, and the intimacy involved is difficult to replicate in other scenarios.

How to give a spanking?

According to a study by a well-known sex toy brand, 70% of women and 64% of men become more aroused during sexual activity when they are slapped on the buttocks. Even some experts, such as Carol Quinn, the author of "The Shy Person's Exhibitionist", believe that slapping the buttocks can stimulate the nerve endings in the vagina. So, how should it be done?

Pat your buttocks, but don't pat them too high. You can also pat the upper part of your thighs, but the movements should be gentle. Control the rhythm and intensity. Start with gentle movements and pay attention to the reactions of the other person and your own body - then gradually increase the intensity until it's just right.

This is not an unsafe behavior, but even so, if this is your first time doing it together, it's best to discuss beforehand what extent you are willing to go to, and also leave some room for personal freedom. Spanking can be part of foreplay or can be done during sexual intercourse - it all depends on personal preference. Of course, some positions are more prone to getting spanked: kneeling position, rear entry position, or sitting astride your partner.

Use some erotic accessories

Some people prefer to exert force, while others seek different textures, pressures or intensities. At such times, whips come in handy. These accessories can be used to try out various playing methods, adding fun to the game, making it more refined, or enhancing the players' autonomy. Because hitting someone on the buttocks with one's hands is different from doing so with a whip, a horsewhip, or an oar - everyone's experience is different.