In the world of pornography and visual pornography, you may sometimes be led to believe that the insertion of a penis into a vagina is the only way to achieve "correct sexual intercourse". Although traditional vaginal insertion (PIV) can bring extreme pleasure and extreme visual enjoyment, there are many other ways to have "correct sexual intercourse" and derive a lot of pleasure from it.

If your sex education has always been lacking (to be honest, most of us fall into this category), then you must think it is very biased towards heterosexual relationships, with the main focus being on avoiding pregnancy. It rarely touches on pleasure, especially female orgasms, and it almost always ends only when the man ejaculates in the bedroom.

Due to the scarcity of words related to pleasure, many women may never have realized that women can also reach orgasm. Many women with a vulva, whether they are informed of their ability to experience pleasure or discover it by chance, are likely to have achieved it through other means, rather than by inserting the penis into the vagina.

However, what about those who don't want to insert anything into the vagina, or those who simply can't insert anything into the vagina? Does this mean they can't experience an orgasm?

The clitoral head is the part located at the top of the vulva, outside the body. Therefore, external stimulation is sufficient to cause someone to reach an exciting climax.

So, from many perspectives, why do we bother to engage in penetrative sexual acts?

Personally, I have always been able to reach orgasm on my own, but it has always been through external stimuli. Therefore, I never thought that sex toys were suitable for me because I knew that I could achieve orgasm without any internal stimulation, and it also made me feel a bit uneasy. However, I do enjoy watching sex on the screen! This is one of the reasons why I invented a series of gratifiers and riding-type non-insertive sex toys to meet the needs of people like me who don't like insertive sex but still long for orgasm.

Why is it non-intrusive in terms of pleasure?

In certain cases, such as vaginal spasm, the vaginal muscles will contract immediately when attempting to insert anything, which means vaginal intercourse with a penis may not be possible. Primary vaginal spasm refers to the situation where you have been suffering from this condition continuously, even if you might not realize it until your period arrives, when you try using sanitary pads or engage in sexual intercourse and masturbation. Secondary vaginal spasm can occur at any stage of life.

Because insertion becomes impossible, it will cause a sense of collapse. Your sex life will become something you can't do rather than something you can do. This will also lead to feelings of shame and sexual trauma, making your sexual pleasure filled with anxiety and dominated by the thought "You can't have sex".

Kate Wilson and her friend Lisa McKenzie founded the remarkable Vaginismus Network, providing a safe communication platform for people suffering from vaginismus to share their experiences. It has become a lifeline for many, including Kate herself, who believes that establishing and being a part of this community is of great significance.

When I was in my teens and early twenties, my understanding of sex was limited to the act of a penis entering a vagina. Every scene I saw on TV, in movies, and in pornographic films, as well as every conversation I heard my friends have about it, made me feel devastated, failed, and like I no longer felt like a woman. Having a disorder like vaginal spasm, penetrative sex can be extremely painful at best, and in the worst cases, it simply cannot be done, leaving you feeling excluded from any topic related to sex. After I began to understand the pleasure of sex more deeply and changed my perception of the true meaning of sex (that is, sex is not just about a penis entering a vagina), everything changed for me. Descriptions of non-penetrative sex in movies and pornographic films are of great significance for those who suffer from sexual pain. Viewing external sex as the entire process of sex, rather than just "pre-cumming", can truly change a person's perception of themselves and their sex life.