For centuries, women's sexual desires have been suppressed, humiliated, ridiculed, and regarded as insignificant. Cara Sutra's sex blog is my way of loudly proclaiming and proudly presenting my sexual pleasure, while also sharing my experiences and advice for readers to enjoy. Today, I am particularly focusing on women's sexual desires, exploring how modern women use pleasure to counter shame and gradually reverse long-standing myths and stigmas. This is the first part of my two-part "Female Sexual Desire Series", which explores some of the complexities of female sexual desire.

At the beginning of this article, I would like to first state that we are far more than just physically different. Gender is a social construct, not a binary opposition. In this vast world, there are many wonderful people. Transgender women are women, and transgender men are men. The women I am referring to are not merely those who conform to the traditional gender norms, but all women.

Furthermore, when I talk about a woman's sexual desire, I'm not merely referring to sex - the physical structure or sexual behavior. It involves identity, autonomy, interpersonal relationships, and self-prioritization. In a world that still attempts to suppress all of this and regards women as commodities, as a woman, saying "Yes, I desire. Yes, I climax. Yes, I am important" holds revolutionary significance.

Break the shame, silence and humiliation

I grew up in the 1980s and 1990s. At that time, anything related to female sexuality was not only considered unimportant, but even regarded as ridiculous. Back then, this felt quite progressive - society at least discussed women and sex in the same sentence, although the tone was somewhat mocking. Women who enjoyed sex were described as "asking for it" or "sluts" - and before many of us reclaimed this label as a symbol of empowerment, this was the case.

The pursuit of "purity" through abstinence and patriarchy is regarded as a virtue, as if the value of women depends on whether we can keep our legs and mouths closed.

This culture of shame permeates our understanding and interaction with the world around us. It affects our perception of sex, influences how we view ourselves as women, and distorts the way we experience sex. Shame tells us not to touch ourselves, not to fantasize, not to talk about sex, not to enjoy sex - and not to speak out loudly when we feel uncomfortable or wrong. This is very dangerous. In fact, women will never be too old, too hairy, too noisy, too promiscuous, too independent. We will never be excessive either. We have the right to fully and shamelessly enjoy the pleasure of sexual intimacy. It's time for us to start living as we believe - and having sex - as we should.

Reconsider sexual pleasure as a right

Female sexual pleasure is not a luxury, nor is it something we need to strive for or deserve. It is an inherent right of us as autonomous and sexually-desiring adults. However, for some reason, female sexual enjoyment is still regarded as a form of indulgence rather than a natural part of life.

Celebrating female sexuality: Using pleasure to overcome shame, taking the difference in orgasmic experiences as an example. Even recent studies* have shown that in heterosexual sexual behavior, men are more likely to reach orgasm than women. This is not because women are harder to please, nor because they are necessarily harder to achieve orgasm. It is because our sense of pleasure is not given priority - not in mainstream pornographic films, not in sex education over the past few decades, and unfortunately, often on the bedroom as well.

Recovering the female sexual pleasure means subverting this script. Tear it apart and throw it in the trash, where it belongs. Women have the right to feel pleasure, to express their needs candidly, to decide with whom to share the experience, and to determine how we wish to experience our own sexual desires and urges. Perhaps it is a slow and sensual massage, without the need for reaching climax. Perhaps it is rough anal sex on the top floor of a skyscraper. As sexually liberated women, whatever we want should be allowed to be freely expressed, without having to worry about social stigma and judgment - and without having to apologize afterwards.

Join the Self-Pleasure Revolution

It's time to talk about one of my favorite topics: masturbation. Oh, you got it right??? To be honest - as a woman with strong sexual awareness and high sexual desire, masturbation is definitely one of the most revolutionary things you can do. It's not just about satisfying yourself - even when you're about to fall into that delightful abyss of sexual climax, you don't have that feeling. The significance of female masturbation lies in coordinating with your own body, recognizing and respecting the sexual needs and desires of your body, finding what feels right for you, and adjusting to any state that allows you to feel completely satisfied.

The Lovense Ferri and Lush 4 vibrators have received positive reviews. No matter which method you choose for self-pleasure - your fingers, a high-tech intelligent vibrator, or a fake anal penetration device - solo sex is the concrete realization of total self-love and empowerment driven by female sexual desire.

You are learning what excites you, where your limits lie, and how your personal desires fluctuate. You can fully explore yourself, break free from your partner's expectations, escape from social judgments and restraints, and not be influenced by any performance pressure.

So, fully embrace the opportunity to get to know yourself better – know your body. Explore your hotspots, your G-spot, your nipples, your clitoris, the inner side of your thighs, your anus. Get intimate with yourself and enjoy the shamelessness of this process as well as the climax of the climax. Regardless of your body type and anatomical structure, it is your body and you deserve to enjoy it.