We know they don't teach cunnilingus in school, but that's no excuse! If you want to be a good lover, you need to grow up and go down! Learning to give head can be intimidating, but there's no need to get tongue-tied. Here are some suggestions for getting started.
Ladybits: Your Road Map
Clitoris- The clitoris has more nerve endings than any part of the body, and those nerve endings run up into the vagina. It's analogous to the glans/head of the penis. For this reason, it's the most sensitive to direct stimulation. Not simply a tiny penis, the clitoris is actually wishbone-shaped. It has "legs" on both sides. The clitoris is so powerful that we like to think of it as a mafia boss. You can't go straight to the boss. You gotta start small and establish some cred before making an introduction.
Clitoral Hood- The hood protects the clitoris. It's the counterpart to the foreskin on the penis. Some folks prefer focus on their hood, as the clit can be too sensitive.
Urethra- This is analogous to the meatus (or pisshole) on a penis. Most folks don't want you to mess with this when you're going down, but some may like it and others may even enjoy urethral sounding!
G-Spot- Like a man's prostate, the G-Spot loves to be stimulated. G-Spot stimulation can be combined with oral sex, for explosive orgasms.
Tips, Tricks 'n Licks
Warm her up.
Sometimes, great foreplay requires a little foreplay of its own. We know you want to dive in and start licking, but in most cases, that's not going to work. Start instead by stroking and kissing her whole body. For shorter sessions, start at her bellybutton and kiss down to her inner thighs, letting her feel your warm breath on her vulva. You might also want to try mutal masturbation or female genital massage. Wherever the mood takes you, have fun, and wait until she's visibly aroused before moving on to the main event.
First kisses.
When she's ready, you can move in for your first kiss. Start with gentle, wet kisses on her labia. Don't focus on one spot, instead getting everything warm and wet. Don't go for her clit unless she asks. You can use your lips to "nibble" her lips. You should be able to tell from her response if she's ready to move to the next step. If she's not getting wet, you may also want to use some lube to help her along.
Some women like direct stimulation while others want indirect stimulation. In general, you should vary your licks and kisses until you find something she's really responding to. Most folks do not like a pointy hard tongue on the clit. Try flattening your tongue and using broad strokes. Don't bite the clit. Don't ignore the rest of the vulva. And don't blow into the vaginal hole.
Start Licking!
At this point, you can start licking. You can also start to focus your energies on the clitoris. Start by licking and kissing around the clit first, and if she responds with encouragement, you can move ahead to more direct stimulation. Remember that there is no "correct" way to use your tongue, but generally it's best to use broad strokes on the sensitive bits, and use the tip of your tongue elsewhere.
Fingers & Toys, Oh My!
You can start out with a lubed hand massaging the labia to help "wake up" the area. To understand the sensitivity of different areas, remember that the labia is similar to the shaft of a man's penis and the clit is similar to the head of a penis. The labia responds to firm pressure, sucking, and light biting. You can also use the labia to massage the clit by gently pressing the lips together and kneading the clit between your fingers. Putting firm pressure on the mons pubis (the mound) and incorporating circular motions will also help to awake the nerves.
Most women enjoy manual stimulation or penetration while receiving oral sex. Your fingers are your best tools. Start by holding onto her waist or squeezing her ass. When your partner is wet, you can bring your hands into play. Slowly insert one or two fingers into her vagina, while keeping your mouth busy. Some women just like to feel something inside of them during oral sex, while others will respond to thrusting. Start with a wet or lubed finger at the opening. If she responds well, insert two fingers and curl up towards her belly button, where the G-Spot lives. A firm "come hither" motion (or milking the G-Spot) is a good way to access that tissue and excite those nerves.
You may also want to incorporate toys into your oral play. A small vibrator or dildo can help push your partner over the top from pleasure to ecstasy. It's probably best not to pick a toy that's too big. The goal here is to enhance the sensations you're already creating with your mouth. And you don't want a ginormous dildo blocking your mouth's access.
