This question is quite interesting. I've noticed that many people simply cannot experience the kind of intimate sexual encounter that truly excites them, because they feel they cannot engage in "that" kind of sexual activity with their partners, regardless of what "that" kind of sexual activity actually is.

I have previously written articles about breaking boundaries and expanding sexual experiences. So this article focuses more on going a step further - how to consider engaging in "lowbrow" sexual activities with your partner.

What I mean by "indecent" is any meaning you desire, any range that goes beyond your "acceptable" comfort zone, any wild, evil, naughty, or whatever adjective you like to add...

I have found that there are two things that will hinder this:

The Madonna-Virginity Syndrome.

This is largely due to the deeply ingrained belief in our society that sex is "bad". For a long time, sex has been seen as a necessary evil for reproduction, and can only be carried out under very strict guidelines - restrained, minimal, and emotionless - otherwise it would be extremely sinful. Of course, repression leads to rebellious behavior, so people, or at least men, do indeed have wild sexual behaviors - but not with their wives, but with "bad girls". Thus, the Madonna-Virginity Syndrome emerged: bad girls do it, good girls don't (of course your wife can only be a good girl). This has been such an important part of Western sexual concepts for a long time, and still lingers in more subtle forms to this day.

Believing that there is "good sex" - pure and simple, and "bad sex" - wild and dark, combined with the inherent notions of "whether it's love" or not, means that people feel they cannot develop deeply in the realm of sex, cannot explore the "dark" aspects of sex, and at least cannot explore them together with their partners. Therefore, people either have a limited sex life or engage in sexual relations with people other than their partners.

The limitations that need to be acknowledged

Another factor that hinders a good, open, and creative "dirty" sex is that people become interdependent and self-integrated, losing the ability to self-recognize. They need the recognition of their partners, otherwise they will feel sad or even rejected. If they are afraid of negative reactions, no one will open up to share their thoughts or break through boundaries. They will restrain themselves and stay in the safe zone. Unfortunately, over time, the safe zone becomes smaller and smaller. I have met some couples who have completely stopped having sex, let alone "dirty" sex (or wild, sexy, tantric, or whatever you want to call it) - because they are too embarrassed, too uncomfortable, and too afraid to try.

Most people are not that extreme, but you do need to reflect on your own beliefs. Think seriously about this issue and be honest with yourself: What do you think is comfortable to do with your partner? If this is worse than what you would ideally like to do, ask yourself, what is preventing you from doing it?

If the answer is "Something doesn't feel right", whether it's a clear and intense feeling or a vague and confusing one, then you are likely in the "Virgin Mary - Whore" state. If your reaction is "Oh, I can't do it. What will he or she react to?", then you are in the "Integration" state.

When confronted with this issue, you can open up your heart and reveal your true self. As a result, you will experience more happiness and possibilities...