What is passionate sex?
Passionate sex refers to the feeling you have when you perceive your partner's deep need and choice. It involves a strong desire, characterized by passion, intensity and longing. It can be a quick and vigorous sexual encounter, or it can be a slow, focused and gentle one.
In other words, passionate sex is the kind of sex that you both truly desire.
Are you hot?
Passionate sex touches upon the very core of what we long for in a romantic relationship:
We long for being loved and desired. We long for being attracted and chosen. We hope this longing can be manifested in sexual relationships.
Unfortunately, our culture is filled with unhelpful information about passionate sex. Passionate sex is not like that:
It's not performative.
This is not urgent.
This is not like what you see in movies.
This is not what you see in pornographic films.
It's not goal-oriented.
This has nothing to do with sexual climax.
So...
What is passionate sex like?
There are many different styles of passionate sex. For example:
Slow lovemaking. Gently remove each other's clothes, cover each other with kisses, and enjoy every moment of the physical contact - but don't rush into it.
Intimate lovemaking. Gaze deeply into each other's eyes and softly express the love and desires between you.
Romantic lovemaking. Use romantic music, rose petals on the bed, and scented candles around the room to create a romantic atmosphere for lovemaking.
Intense, rapid, and passionate lovemaking. Tug at each other's clothes, hold onto each other's bodies tightly, and then quickly engage in intense, deep, and rapid lovemaking. (Well, Hollywood's approach isn't wrong either - but you'll find that this is not the only way to have passionate lovemaking.)
Tantric lovemaking. Intentionally move the sexual energy within the body and view lovemaking as a spiritual practice and a union with the divine.
Dominance and submission lovemaking. One person takes control and the other submits and obeys. This includes being suppressed, bound, or being instructed. (This is why Fifty Shades of Grey is so popular - it depicts a specific version of "passionate lovemaking". Although the script may be bad, the lovemaking itself captures the highly erotic and passionate scenes.)
Playful and teasing lovemaking. Build anticipation through emphasizing the "preliminary activities", and jointly explore a feast filled with pleasure and fun.
A mixture of all the above.
The key point is that passionate lovemaking has many different expressions. The common point is to feel passionately desired. And depending on your personal preferences, the meaning of passionate lovemaking will vary from person to person.
It is helpful to imagine passionate sex as having various different flavors:
It might be spicy, or sweet, or rich and intense. Just like ice cream, you can freely mix and combine the flavors you like.
Why is passionate sex important for your relationship?
Research* indicates that romantic passion helps strengthen commitment and enhances the satisfaction of both men and women.*
Intimate sex is very important because:
It enables you to feel each other's love and need.
It can ignite the sparks and passion in your relationship.
It keeps you interested in your sexual life.
It boosts your self-confidence and self-esteem.
It helps enhance your sexual desire.
It can increase the love and commitment in your relationship.
It will make you more satisfied with your relationship and life.