Dear Dr. Happy Pi, Is it right for me to break up with my boyfriend because he doesn't like oral sex? Also, am I crazy for wanting to move in with him? Here's a bit of background:

We've been dating for three months. This is our first long-term relationship. Before I met him, I was very sexually active. I could chat and have sex freely, but he couldn't. Before me, he only had a relationship with one other girl. He's 22 and I'm 20. We're both in college. Now it's time to start planning where we'll live next year. I want to move in with him because I love him and it would be cheaper, but everyone says I'm crazy, especially living with a man who hasn't given me oral sex.

I talked to him about this. He said he was willing to learn and start doing it for me. But I think everyone's words have left a deep impression on me. Again, this is my feeling, not theirs. Everyone says I'm too eager and should think twice before living with him again. But I feel I'm ready and we've talked about it. I've never met someone like him. I love him. I just hope sometimes our sex life could be better and he could give me oral sex. If he says he's willing to try, wouldn't that be great?

Or perhaps I'd better give up and break up with him.

I think you haven't understood at all what your friend was trying to tell you.

OK, let's start with the obvious: You can break up with your partner for any reason (whether it's this current guy or a future partner). Don't like the way he blows his nose with a whistle? You can end the relationship over that. Don't like the straight hairline on his head, which makes it look like "Ed Shereen" when he sings? You can dump him over that.

So, yes, you can break up with him because he hasn't given you oral sex so far. If you need a sexual partner to fulfill this requirement, then you need him. Any person who doesn't meet this criterion, you can safely remove from your social calendar.

Since it has been stated, there is a difference between "won't" and "not enthusiastic". If you want, you can dump him right now, but I think this is a bit too hasty. If he really wants to work hard at the university for you and is willing to incorporate this into his regular plan because it's so important to you, then what? I think it's still worth giving him a chance, uh, making sure he matches his words with his actions. Or, he didn't do that.

But.

You really need to slow down now. This is the case with almost everything. Because right now you're like a drug-addicted pinball ball running around everywhere. Just this one sentence, the sex life is mediocre, but he's your lifelong love. You plan to move in with him, but you also want to dump him because your friends say so. Honestly, I'm almost unable to keep up with your train of thought.

Let's talk about the part you don't want to hear: I really don't think you have a crush on this guy. It's definitely just a surplus of new relationship energy. But I don't think this is love. You definitely don't want to live together with him.

Listen, I understand. You're 20 years old and still in college. This is probably your first time truly experiencing the taste of independence. You are experiencing all kinds of incredible and new things. You have found a guy you truly like... But a) you are 20 years old, b) you have only been dating him for three months. In three months, you haven't known this guy, and he hasn't known you either. You are dating a new lover, and he might be busy preparing his Oscar acceptance speech because he is showing you the kind of person he wants you to see. And you are also showing him the same kind of person.

It wasn't that you and he were deceiving each other. Rather, at this stage, you two were still putting in 110% of your effort, striving to become the best versions of yourselves. Because everything was new and exciting. Even the way he chewed his food was great. It felt like you could maintain this state forever. However, despite all this being exciting and interesting, there were still many things you didn't understand about each other, even about yourselves when you were together. You didn't know about each other's annoying habits or minor faults. You didn't look like you were crushed by an ugly truck because of the same problems, and you didn't feel like your 80% of nasal congestion and stomach discomfort filled your entire body. You didn't have any serious arguments - not because of who was supposed to watch TV on Netflix and disagreeing - but because of the real issues, the deep core values, or because of a serious conflict that made you really unhappy with each other.

Damn it, I'm not entirely sure if you're already at the stage where you can fart in front of this guy, and you're still wondering if he'll give you a blowjob and if he's good at it.

What I mean is that it's not the right time for you two to plan to live together, because you haven't known each other deeply enough. You think it will be cheaper to be together 24 hours a day with your precious baby, and you imagine how romantic all this would be. But you haven't considered things like "Can he remember to take out the trash and sort the recyclables"? Or what he would do if something went wrong and caused a lot of inconvenience for him. Or what would happen if one of you can't pay the rent this month. Or...

Here's the situation: Cohabitation is a very important step in a relationship. But you have no idea what it will be like to live together with this guy. You seem not to have spent even a single long weekend together, and you are almost ready to kick him out of the house.

You can call me crazy, but this doesn't seem to be the strongest evidence for living together with someone.

More seriously: Getting along with others requires a lot of adaptation, and even involves making some very significant concessions, even with someone you generally get along well with. I've seen friendships that lasted for decades fall apart because they tried to be roommates, only to find that they couldn't get rid of the little things that annoyed them about each other. Believe me: He/She also has some things that annoy you, and you/they are the same.

So, do yourself a favor: Let's talk less about romance for now. At least wait a year before moving in with him together. Right now, it would be better to focus on the reality that your sex life is not good, and then work hard to improve it. Believe me: If your sex life is not satisfactory, other aspects will be the same as well.

Let him think it over carefully. If his ability is good enough... perhaps he could consider taking a vacation first and see how things go. If you can successfully complete it, for example, without killing each other, and transfer flights from Dallas-Vaughnsburg Airport or O'Hare Airport, you might - I stress, might - be able to live together.

Good luck to you.