The more I explore my body, the more I enjoy it. My dual goals are: to understand how God created me as a woman, and to prepare myself to be a sexy wife. I reviewed my earlier posts, both fictional and real. I thought to myself: "Wow, I've learned a lot!" And I didn't just gain knowledge on a spiritual level. Thanks to God's grace, my body is undergoing "thinking" in terms of adaptability and is happily accepting these sensations. To be honest, it feels great! I will update soon.
Two days ago, I had an absolutely wonderful masturbation experience. As usual, I first rubbed with a towel, then leaned against the bed, looking at the image in the mirror while using my fingers to stimulate myself. I was imagining having a conversation with my future husband, teasing him and asking him if he liked to see me. At that time, there was only me in the entire house, feeling very comfortable, so I felt much more liberated (though I still kept my voice low). A few seconds later, I got wet. I tried to carefully record my body's reactions and sensations to the stimulation during my menstrual cycle.
This time, my period had just ended and I was ready to take good care of myself, including using my vibration rod. I easily inserted one finger into the vagina (this was quite amazing; usually it takes some time to warm up), supporting the opening of the vagina with my palm while rubbing the finger back and forth. It felt wonderful. Then, because my vagina was very loose and slippery, I took out the vibration rod. I moistened it with my bodily fluid and pushed it inside. There was no resistance at all!
The situation is starting to improve: I can truly feel that slender, smooth, and somewhat resembling a dildo-like texture sliding along the inner wall of my vagina. It's as if the nerves in my vagina have been awakened. No matter what invades that space, it will send out a signal: "Hey, we need to send some signals here!" No longer numb. I don't know if this is a miracle of my body or because I was in the middle of my menstrual cycle at that time. I plan to continue observing!
In summary, I tried many different positions, trying to find the most comfortable one. I found that I preferred lying on my right side, with my left leg raised and hooked over the edge of the bed. This lateral position seemed to allow me to reach areas that I couldn't normally access. I twisted my hips while the vibrating rod was moving, inserting and withdrawing it. It wasn't fully withdrawn, but just enough to feel the round head expanding my vagina. I was also imagining the passionate lovemaking scene with my future husband.
I was completely drenched, all wet; my fingers were sticky, and my vulva was dirty. This sounds disgusting, but since I have fully accepted the sexual desire bestowed upon me by God, I love it to death. I felt a warm current surging through my body, and my muscles cramped. I lay flat on my back, trembling all over, and my mouth was pulled open by this force. I believe that was the strongest orgasm I have ever experienced. It lasted for several seconds, approximately ten seconds. When the orgasm subsided, I was still trembling. I thought my vaginal muscles were finally going to squirt. This time it didn't happen, but I reignited my hope. When I pulled out the vibrator, a liquid seeped out of my vagina. When I felt it, I was shocked. I have never experienced a situation like immediately "ejaculating" after such a climax.
After masturbating, I would go to the toilet and see a stream of semen spurting out. I guessed it was because I was in a standing position at that time. This was quite new to me because I was lying flat on the ground. Although my mind was still filled with the chemicals of pleasure, I still thanked God for allowing me to take another step in the enjoyment of true sexual intimacy. For me, the more I did, the better I felt. I'm sure, as some people say, marriage will be "another story". But I'm more excited than ever before. I think God is telling me that sex doesn't have to be as painful or boring as many women experience. There is an answer, but some of us need to explore more and for a longer time than others.