Hello everyone!

So, I have been lurking anonymously on this website for quite some time. It wasn't until recently that I finally had the courage to create an account.

Regarding myself, I have been single throughout my life. Although I was allowed to date after the age of 18, it was because my parents wanted me to focus on my studies and I agreed. I did attend school and never had a crush on any boy, so this has never been a problem for me.

After entering university, I had been thinking about finding a boyfriend and having a relationship and getting married. Now that I'm 25 years old, obviously this hasn't happened. However, I mainly started engaging in masturbation during my university years. When I was a teenager, I had no such need/desire at all, so perhaps I'm just a late bloomer. Because my parents disapproved of masturbation, I used to feel very guilty about it, but at the same time, I was also very conflicted because I didn't want to have sex before getting married. I thought this was a safe way to explore one's sexual orientation.

I can't remember exactly when I discovered this website. Maybe around that time, or perhaps a little later. But reading about Christians enjoying wonderful sexual experiences made me extremely excited and eager to have such an experience myself.

During the period of waiting for my period, masturbation almost became my lifeline, especially during certain stages of the menstrual cycle. I'm grateful that this website has such a positive view of masturbation. To be honest, without such an outlet for release like masturbation, I think I might not have been able to endure this long period of single life. Otherwise, I think I would have grown older and become increasingly frustrated with the fact that my future husband hasn't shown up yet.

However, I do believe that since the phenomenon of people postponing marriage for various reasons (my reason being simply that I haven't found the right partner yet) is becoming more and more common nowadays, imposing such restrictions seems rather unrealistic. I hope to let my children know that masturbation is a normal thing, especially if it can help them refrain from having sex before marriage.

But what I'm worried about is that when I finally meet a man, if I admit that I masturbated, he might think there's something wrong with me. Although I'm still a virgin, the fact that I frequently masturbate can be said to have somewhat deprived me of my "purity"; although masturbation has many benefits and I know what can arouse someone and lead to an orgasm. Besides, although it is widely believed that most men masturbate, some people have a very negative view of this entire matter. It seems that there is still a double standard, especially the negative stigmatization of female masturbation. But this might be related to my upbringing and the fact that I have been hiding my masturbation habit for many years.

I fully agree to tell them that I do masturbate, because it's kind of like a "Have you had sex?" kind of conversation. A person should know this as early as possible so that they can decide for themselves whether to continue the relationship. I think it should be said earlier rather than later, so that the relationship won't develop and it will be easier to break up.

However, for those who start self-stimulation only after getting married - that is to say, if you were a virgin during your wedding night - how and when did you discuss this topic with your then-date? If you found that your then-date, although a virgin, often self-stimulated, would this change your opinion of her? Was it an positive or negative experience? How difficult was it to admit this?

I'm curious about this because nowadays "everyone engages in sexual activity", yet masturbation still carries a great deal of stigma.