Being a parent is like an endless juggling act.

Between work, keeping the house tidy, shopping, maintaining social life and occasionally sneaking off to the gym or attending yoga classes, it's no wonder that many parents say that after having children, their sex lives almost cease to exist.

Although your sexual life is unlikely to fully return to the state it was before having children (at least until the children go to school and attend summer camps), we firmly believe that even as parents, you can still have an active and fulfilling sexual life.

This is entirely possible – all you need to do is a few things.

Don't get stuck on what your sex life 'should' be like.

After all, comparison is the thief of happiness. If you see on social media that four out of five new parents have sex every other day, and all your friends are bragging about their date nights and romantic trips, then you will naturally start to feel that something is lacking in your sex life. Don't get stuck on what you think an intimate relationship "should" be like for you. Think about what you and your partner really want. If you are satisfied with quick sex once a week, then focus on that - if you feel you really need weekly date nights and romantic trips, look for ways to achieve it. In life, just like being a parent, there is no single "correct" way to do things - there are only methods that suit you.

Talk to your partner about your desires and needs.

Communication, communication, and communication. If you want to have more, better or different sexual experiences, tell your partner - and leave room to listen to their desires. Handling postpartum relationships can be tricky, especially if you and your partner are both new parents. This is a completely unfamiliar territory for both of you, and it's normal to feel a bit lost. Let your partner know your feelings and desires, and see if they are willing to work together to bring your intimate relationship back to the state you both desire.

Be clear about what you want.

It's one thing to say you want to have more sex, but it's another thing to say "I think we should try having sex every time the kids go to the swimming class with Aunt Carrie". Brainstorm with your partner to come up with some ways to bring your intimacy back to life, and make it specific. Do you want to try a nighttime massage? Send sexy text messages? Have each other masturbate every other Sunday when the kids are having lasagna at their grandparents' house? (Seriously!) Once you figure out what you want, recruit all those kind relatives and friends who are willing to babysit. Grandparents usually love any excuse to have kids over, and friends with kids might not mind taking an extra child to the park on a Sunday afternoon. Of course, you don't have to tell everyone why you suddenly need help babysitting!

Please remember that gender may now be different.

We have discussed this issue in the post about postpartum sex, but it is worth repeating here, especially if you are a new parent. Childbirth puts a huge strain on the body, and parents may take several months to recover to the point where they can engage in intimate relationships. You may no longer have the intense and flexible sex you had before pregnancy - so please be gentle in acknowledging that your current sex life may be different. If you can't have penetrative sex now, you may need to slow down, use more lubricant, and try different ways of experiencing pleasure. Your body may also look different - but that's because it has been carrying a real life for nine months. Please be kind to yourself and be gentle everywhere.

Don't be afraid to seek support.

In addition to maintaining contact with the medical team to receive postpartum support, if you need additional guidance, you can consider hiring a couple counselor or a sex therapist. Counselors and sex therapists are professionals who interact with couples like you every day. We firmly believe that they can help you find some interesting and novel ways to integrate intimacy into your parenting life.

We know that no matter how old the children are or how large the family is, being a parent can sometimes make you feel lonely. But we believe that as long as you express your desires honestly and seek support from your partner, you can bring intimacy back into your life.