Seven types of vices: lust, gluttony, laziness, greed, envy, anger and arrogance

Lust: Between a Crotch and a Hard Place

When it comes to sex, desire takes center stage. Desire and craving are intertwined with sex, and it is simply wonderful - this is how it should be! Whether you are in a stable relationship or maintaining a casual sex life, a lack of desire could indicate potential problems with your sexual desires.

But does the lack of sexual desire necessarily mean the absence of desire in general? Can comfort replace sexual desire as the main driving force for sexual happiness? This is certainly debatable. Some people believe that this is a natural development in long-term relationships and can be fully accepted. Others, however, think that the lack of sexual desire indicates a lack of emotional connection, which undoubtedly causes pain and emotional harm. The same situation also applies to those who pursue different partners. If they have no sexual desire for any of their partners, will their interpersonal relationships be in danger? Nevertheless, if they do not deeply immerse themselves in a specific person, this person might be a form of protection, allowing them to enjoy the pleasure brought by sex.

Usually, the best option (depending on the specific situation) might be in the middle position.

For those who enjoy casual sexual behavior, a lack of excitement for the kind of behavior you are seeking might indicate that you are not truly interested in it. Perhaps you need to re-examine your approach to sex. However, if your desire and passion for sexual activity - just that - remains unwavering, you can still maintain a distance from others.

In a long-term relationship, comfort is a deserved reward that stems from loving your partner, learning to compromise, and showing care. Enjoy it to the fullest! Meanwhile, completely losing sexual desire towards your partner might indicate compatibility issues between you and your partner. Of course, we grow older and evolve. Your partner won't be the person you longed for 20 years ago. However, they still exist.

But... perhaps you are not like that. The problem of a lack of sexual desire in a relationship might lie here. To quote an old saying, perhaps the problem really lies with you, not with the other person. Maybe you have lost interest and have lost the sexual desire that is unique to many exciting new relationships. Maybe you are too quick to seek comfort and take your partner for granted. Maybe you start looking for other partners...

This is the negative aspect of desire: when desire overrides others, when it drives you to act in ways you wouldn't normally do, when it makes you pursue sex in a way that is harmful to both you and the people involved. Whether the other person is your partner, your new lover, or the other person's significant other. At this point, you are in a troublesome situation.

As the saying goes, we are referring to infidelity, infatuation, adultery, and extramarital affairs. It means that sexual desire drives you to have sexual relations with someone other than your partner, either without the partner's knowledge or without their participation, or with someone who is also unaware of the situation. There are many reasons why people want to seek new experiences, but for many, in the end, it is the uncontrollable sexual response. Although most media portrayals are like this, the likelihood of men committing adultery is not higher than that of women. Television and movies often depict the adulterous party as a man, but a survey shows that women are more likely to commit adultery.

When many people decide to have sexual relations with someone other than their partner, they don't realize that their understanding of different relationship patterns is becoming more inclusive. Secretly contacting or using websites like Ashley Madison is no longer the only way to explore personal desires. Ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and other relationship structures make it possible to pursue sexual and/or emotional relationships outside the main relationship. Whether you want to find another life partner or have occasional unconditional dates, communication can open up new opportunities for you and your partner, allowing you to jointly pursue desire.

There is another, more relaxed way to enjoy sexual desire without harming others: fantasy. Whether you enjoy watching exciting pornographic films, reading captivating erotic novels, or simply strolling and "window shopping" while on a walk, imagination is the most fertile soil for fantasizing about sex. Remember, withdrawing money from the "sex bank" is always free and there are no penalties.

One way to ensure the health of sexual fantasies is to leave room for masturbation in your relationship. It doesn't have to be the main way of expressing sexuality, but being able to comfortably say "I just want to stroke myself for a bit, and then come back to it later" is a great way to let your partner know that you are still interested in sex and have thoughts. You might even find that it excites your partner!

Unfortunately, in many relationships, openly discussing self-love is extremely lacking. And this is largely due to the same desire for fantasy. Some people even dislike their partners thinking about others, let alone being tainted by such thoughts. Although we don't want to delve too deeply into another sin (jealousy), it is something we deeply and stubbornly refuse to do - to be able to talk about the attractiveness of people outside the relationship. We shouldn't focus on it. We shouldn't desire it. But how could this be possible?

Observing others, thinking about others, while respecting your partner and others - this is not only possible but also completely healthy. Remember, both parties are human beings with emotions and should not be objectified. Desires can easily be positively managed. If you and your partner are willing to discuss, it can lead to many wonderful conversations and even bring about passionate, intense sexual experiences.