It is undeniable that living together with a partner can be a risky venture. It could be an ideal choice for both parties, or it could be the root cause of a disaster. Just like any significant development in a romantic relationship, deciding when to move in together requires careful consideration and meticulous planning to ensure a smooth transition to a shared life and achieve positive outcomes.

So, should we move in together? Before you make a decision, let's take a look at this list first.

You two used to live together in the past.

Before deciding to live together with your partner, you need to determine whether you can accept living together. Whether you are staying together during a vacation or have stayed at each other's house for a couple of weeks before, experiencing it in advance is crucial for deciding whether you should live together. After all, if you can't even stand it for a few weeks, how can you accept the real living together life?

You’re not rushing into moving in together

Deciding to cohabitate with your partner should be because you both want to live together. Feeling the pressure from external forces — your friends moving in with their significant others, your parents bugging you about taking the next step — should be put from your mind. Ultimately, you will have to be sharing your home, so you must be equally on board with the situation.

You're able to support yourself financially 

Before you answer that looming question of “should we move in together?”, you need to ensure that you can support yourself financially while living on your own. This is particularly true if you come from a situation with minimal to no bills and are seeking to live more independently.

Now is also the time to speak to your partner about your shared finances, discussing how you will share expenses, and deciding on the miscellaneous items you’ll be allocating extra spending money to. There should be no financial secrets. 

You feel that you can trust your partner 

Developing a genuine trust for your partner goes beyond an innate sexual attraction; it’s that sense of intimacy without sex. Before moving in together, ask yourself if your significant other is somebody you can picture yourself with for the long haul, who you can trust and rely on, who will be honest emotionally and financially.

You’ve already survived a big argument

A crucial tenet of cohabitation is your ability to get along with one another and — when the going gets tough — to resolve things fairly and respectfully. Be sure that you are both in agreement to avoid ignoring relationship problems, preferably having survived a big ‘blow up’ in the past in a healthy way.

If you’re hoping to stay together for the long-term, you may also want to consider the option of regular couples therapy to have a better relationship. 

You’ve had the hard conversations

In any serious relationship, there are going to be some necessary difficult conversations. You’ll have had them in the best-case scenario, before you decide when to move in with your partner. This includes your daily routine, like splitting chores and responsibilities, and personal development, like working together to maintain mutual love and mental health.

You’re confident that you can remain independent

Although moving in with your partner can be a positive step in terms of deepening your bond, having your significant other in constant proximity to you can dampen your sense of independence. To avoid this, regularly set aside time for yourself to practice self-care, whether it’s a solo coffee date at your favourite local café or taking a solo bath while playing your favourite music.

You’ve talked about the future

In the weeks and months before moving in together, you should have a good idea of the direction in which your relationship is heading. Getting on the same page about what you expect from one another is necessary to make the partnership work and for neither person to feel betrayed or uncertain. Are you hoping to stay common law? Is marriage on the table, down the road? Talk about your options.

You have a way out (if necessary)

Though the possibility could be a tough pill to swallow, when moving in with your partner, there’s always the possibility of breaking up with someone. If this is the unfortunate situation that you and your significant other are faced with, you need to discuss your exit strategy. If you’re renting, who will take over the lease? If you’ve purchased a home together, who will buy out the other owner?