Dr. Havlock Ellis's friends might have been quite curious back then about his being hailed as one of the world's top experts in the emerging field of sexology. Ellis was a virgin when he got married at the age of 32 and didn't overcome his impotence until he was 60. He discovered that he could become erect by observing a woman urinating. As the saying goes, "One is never too old to learn." He himself called it "female fetishism" (undinism), and it is now known as "urination lust" (urolagnia). This is a form of sexual perversion where patients experience sexual arousal upon seeing or thinking about urination or being urinated on.

Sexual fetishism or paraphilia, as concepts, are not the same thing but are closely related, and their meanings have evolved over time. For instance, Sigmund Freud once lumped homosexuality, bestiality, and fetishism together. This list of vices or disorders inevitably includes oral sex. "If a person's lips (or tongue) come into contact with another person's genitals, using the mouth as a sexual organ is regarded as abnormal, but if the mucous membranes of both lips come into contact, it is not considered abnormal," wrote the father of psychoanalysis in his "Three Essays on Sexuality." In short, inserting the penis into the vagina to conceive a child is the "normal" practice - everything else is considered abnormal behavior.

So, before we proceed, what exactly is a sexual fetish?

Fetishism is different from sexual inversion, and sexual inversion is also different from sexual inversion disorder. Fetishism refers to the fixation of sexual desire on non-genital objects or body parts. It is important to note that if you have a sexual desire for long nails, then long nails would be your fetish. On the other hand, if you have a sexual desire for the vagina or the penis, that's fine too. According to authoritative publications such as the Oxford English Dictionary, fetishism and sexual inversion (formerly known as sexual perversion and sexual deviation) are actually both "abnormal". But please remain calm and don't rush to see a psychiatrist just yet!

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) defines paraphilia as "any intense and persistent sexual interest, except for genital stimulation or pre-sexual touching with a phenotypically normal, physiologically mature, and mutually consenting human partner." That's it! To sum up, any behavior other than engaging in foreplay with a "phenotypically normal" person (whatever that means) and then penetration is abnormal. So, you will be aroused by the presence of scars on a person's body - paraphilia; you will be aroused by being spanked or wearing high heels - again, paraphilia.

From this, it can be seen that this "abnormal" statement (please forgive my impudence) is pure nonsense. So, if your sexual orientation is different from the "normal" sexual orientation defined by a group of slovenly linguists in the 1950s, what should you do? As long as you don't harm others, what's the problem? In fact, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) uses different terms for problematic sexual desires, namely paraphilic disorder. It is described as "leading to severe distress and functional impairment in the individual, or involving personal injury or a risk of harm to others through paraphilia". For example, do you like rubbing your genitals against strangers on the subway? Well, you have a problem, sorry - this is an obstacle. Would you like to cut your penis into small pieces, put them in the oven, and chew and enjoy them? Now call a psychiatrist.

In Laura Moran's words: "No matter what you like, as long as it doesn't hurt you, doesn't harm you, or isn't the result of coercion, then enjoy it. If you want to do it, and if they also want to do it (provided that they want to do it) - then share it!"

What are the most common sexual paraphilias?

Domination and Submission

Stop talking about topics like "childhood trauma" and "mental problems". For the majority of people, getting pleasure from spanking or being spanked, tying up or being tied up, whipping or being whipped is absolutely not wrong. In fact, scientific research shows that SM enthusiasts have more balanced emotions, less neuroticism, and are less sensitive to criticism. Of course, such activities should always be based on mutual consent and pre-established rules.

Role-playing

Some fantasies can only be realized by pretending to be someone else. Breaking free from one's own identity can help explore different sexual orientations and interests. Yes, role-playing is an important feature of BDSM practice. The roles of "dominator" and "submissive" are predetermined, and participants usually take on different roles (teacher-student, boss-secretary, doctor-patient).

Lesbianism

Samuel L. Jackson once said that rubbing a woman's feet and licking her vagina "are completely different things". However, this is clearly a very private behavior. Marcellus Wallace's new wife would never massage her feet! For Sigmund Freud, the feet symbolize the penis because, in his view, everything is a symbol of the penis; more specifically, it is the symbol of the "female penis". But apart from this man's obsession with the penis, foot fetishism (a rather unpleasant-sounding term) is also one of the most common forms of fetishism. So, enjoy, caress and lick your feet... but make sure they are not some gang leader from a Tarantino movie.

Voyeurism

Getting pleasure from watching others having sex - this is voyeurism. For Hitchcock (though he was not exactly a model), we are all voyeurs. This is evident in films like "The Rear Window", among others. It is obvious that we enjoy observing and contemplating others' private behaviors. Clearly, if this becomes an obsession and eventually leads to a reality crime series on Netflix about a mentally ill person, it is completely different.

Craziest: Balloon Fetish

We have to admit that this incident even caught us off guard. "Crazy" refers to those who have sex on balloons, are surrounded by balloons, touch balloons or blow balloons and feel excited or get pleasure. Each "crazy" has their own personal preferences. As one such enthusiast explained in a recent newspaper article: "Blow-up balloon enthusiasts like to place the balloon on their lips, watch it expand with each breath, keep growing until it bursts. As a 'sitting burst balloon enthusiast', I like to immerse my body in the balloon, feel the pressure, listen to the squeaking sound as the balloon rubs against the skin, and squeeze the balloon until it bursts. Non-'sitting burst balloon enthusiasts' like to play with balloons as long as it doesn't involve bursting the balloon, because bursting the balloon makes them feel frustrated and uneasy." If you are interested in the fun brought by balloons, we recommend you visit the ThirtyThreeRooms website.

Enuresis or "Golden Shower"

In one of the most memorable episodes of "Sex and the City", Kelly Bradshaw had a romantic relationship with a politician who asked her to "urinate for him". Although the more common terms among us are "golden bath" or "water sport", psychologists refer to this kind of sexual perversion as "urination lust" (urolagnia), a sexual disorder centered around urine and urination (touching, seeing or smelling it). However, it should be noted that "urination lust" or "urination addiction" is not the same as "urination swallowing addiction". The former is aroused by urine, while only the latter will drink it greedily.

Restriction

Bondage (or "slavery") is closely related to the BDSM world. The concept is to allow oneself to be dominated, to completely submit to others, and to derive pleasure from it. The feeling of being dominated by others can be extremely stimulating - but of course, this always takes place in a mutually voluntary manner.

Phototaxis

We must admit that this might be our most extraordinary one. It combines human nature with the supernatural for the purpose of eroticism - something we ourselves have never even considered! It is said that the origin of this "philia" (sexual desire) can be traced back to the Middle Ages and can be defined as a sexual attraction to ghosts or souls. We will not make any judgment here.

Canoragania

This is a common theme shared by the bad boys in high school and classic Hollywood movies, which is that seeing someone smoking can generate attraction.

Did we miss anything? Of course we did! The wonderful world of fetishism is truly endless! Do you have sexual desires towards dolls or statues? It's fetishism for objects. Bicycles, motorcycles or cars? It's fetishism for machinery. Watching your partner sleep? It's sleep addiction. And so on, there are countless examples. What's our advice? Just enjoy it. As long as you don't disturb others, you can experience all kinds of strange fetishes!