No one used the actual term “booty call” until the early 1990s when comedian Bill Bellamy coined it: His joke was that “any lady who accepts a phone call from a gentleman at 2 a.m. has got to know he’s not calling because he wants to talk.” Thus, … the booty call, or as Urban Dictionary defines it, “A late night summons — often made via telephone — to arrange clandestine sexual liaisons on an ad hoc basis” was born.
Understand the Significance
Both parties should understand one important concept before going in: A booty call does not first involve going to a football game, a rock concert, a walk in the park or a meal. He likely does all those activities, only not with you.
If both people truly understand the concept of what a booty call is — that it’s about having sex with no strings attached — then it can be a wonderful thing. Just don’t use it as a means to try to make him fall in love. That’s typically not how long-term, meaningful relationships form. If you aren’t so interested in booty calls and just want a long term relationship with a guy who does fall in love with you, the you may want to read this.
What is a Booty Call When Compared to a One Night Stand?
Other similar activities to booty calls are “one-night stands” (covered here) and “friends with benefits.” situations. Although a booty call could happen only once, making it a one-night stand as well, most times, booty calls involve some type of pre-existing relationship.
People on either end of a booty call typically message each other late at night to see if their booty call is available. But, for the process to remain a booty call, the relationship doesn’t advance to a typical long-term relationship.
Why Many Women Like Them
Face the reality, girls all have needs. If you are in a relationship or simply enjoy being single and happy, finding a man who can enjoy wonderful sex with you and is always ready to follow your commands is truly wonderful. Because you usually won't see your sexual partner anywhere other than the bedroom, you can freely engage in any kind of sex you like without any restrictions. This usually means truly amazing sex.
This does not mean that you cannot have a wonderful sex life with your long-term partner. It's just that the risk is lower when you are with a one-time service provider, so you won't experience the psychological games or burdens that may occur in a long-term relationship. Moreover, because you have some familiarity with the one-time service provider, the sex you enjoy during the service may be better than a one-night stand.
This also explains why many women enjoy casual sex - they can enjoy a wonderful sexual experience with one partner, and you can use some of the techniques learned from "The Bad Girls' Apron" to repay her. You might have just gone through a painful breakup and are not ready to start a new relationship yet, or you might be currently focused on your career and don't have much time to invest in relationships. Casual sex allows you to continue enjoying sex without any additional conditions attached, and you don't have to sleep with multiple partners.
Booty Call Ground Rules
If you’ve decided that having a booty call relationship is right for you, there are some ground rules you need to follow:
It’s best if you limit a booty call to no more than once a week.
In between booty calls, don’t communicate with him. An occasional text is OK, but you really just need to text him only when it’s time for action.
Don’t start acting like his girlfriend; he then may feel obligated to act like a boyfriend, even if he’s not feeling it, which is a surefire way to end the booty call situation. This means no discussions about your feelings, your past or asking him whether he’s dating anyone, and — this is important — no expectations of his being there to help when you are having a crisis…which can be a bit of a bummer.
How to Arrange a Booty Call
While many booty calls evolve completely organically, sometimes it can help to follow some guidelines…
Decide whether you will be the only one doing the calling or whether it’s OK for him to call you sometimes, too. If you want to be in charge of when a booty calls happens, never accept his booty calls but continue to make yours. He’ll soon get the pattern.
Don’t arrange a booty call too far in advance. It should generally occur no more than a few hours before you want to see him. Of course, you risk not getting any the longer you wait, but that’s just the way these types of relationships work.
Offer to go to his place. It’s not cool to always expect him to come to you.
It’s usually easiest to arrange a booty call through a text. Don’t beat around the bush and ask if he wants to grab a late-night snack or drink or even just a cuddle. Be direct and say that you want to come over or ask him if he wants to come over.
Don’t expect an immediate response. It might take an hour or so for you to hear back.
Accept “no” for an answer. You might want to ask one more time after being turned down, but if he just doesn’t want to that night, let it go.