However, although it is important to raise people's awareness of the false, exploitative and insulting nature of pornographic works, it is equally important to recognize that pornographic works do not provide or teach viewers any knowledge about sex and relationships.
1.Pornographic films do not indicate how much we actually need healthy relationships in our lives.
Interpersonal relationships are of vital importance to human beings. Whether it is children, teenagers, or even adults, we all need various strong and healthy interpersonal relationships in order to grow up healthily.
These relationships include those with friends, parents, siblings, teammates, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. Healthy interpersonal relationships can build self-esteem, promote mental and emotional health, and help us lead a healthier life. Research shows that people with loyal relationships are usually happier.
On the other hand, in the long run, the impact of pornography is exactly the opposite. Pornography can damage genuine interpersonal relationships, such as harming the physical and mental health of viewers, and even exacerbating existing problems like depression, anxiety, and loneliness. The happiness and satisfaction brought by pornography cannot be compared to the love that truly exists.
In fact, this is clearly an unhealthy "substitute".
2. Pornographic films do not depict the sacrifices required when being with someone.
If you watch pornographic films to learn about sexual knowledge, then you are mistaken. Pornographic films can provide you with education, but they will only teach you some harmful, exaggerated and fantastical lessons, which can harm individuals and interpersonal relationships.
Let's think about it this way: Watching pornographic films to acquire sexual skills is like watching the action car chases in movies to learn driving skills. Pornographic films not only depict sexual acts in an entirely unrealistic manner, but also do not promote healthy and safe sexual behaviors, such as using condoms and conducting STI tests. Here are 10 completely misunderstandings of real sexual behaviors by pornographic films, including distorted descriptions of sexual behaviors in LGBTQ+ relationships.
Not only that, pornographic films do not present the realistic nature of mutual benefit in a relationship. Newsflash: An emotional life can be challenging and requires sacrifice. Ask any person in a long-term relationship and you'll know that emotions require putting the needs of the other person above one's own. John and Julie Gottman are world-renowned relationship therapists. When they studied the factors that contribute to a lasting relationship, they discovered that kindness and generosity are the two most important factors. Partners who are friendly and generous are more likely to stay together for a long time and lead a happy and fulfilling life.
Once again, pornography is completely contrary to this ideal.
Pornographic content often highlights selfish sexual desires and includes violent or aggressive behaviors. Research shows that pornographic content can actually change and reshape consumers' sexual templates. Since most of the pornographic content on mainstream and free websites depicts the absence of female pleasure and the intensification of violence against women, it is certain that this will have a negative impact on consumers' interpersonal relationships.
In fact, a few years ago, a group of researchers analyzed the most popular pornographic videos and found that 88% of the videos contained physical violence, and 49% contained verbal attacks. More recently, a study published in 2020 evaluated 7,430 pornographic videos and discovered that women suffered 97% of the physical assault behaviors in these videos.
If consumers train their sexual templates through visual physical and verbal attacks to elicit arousal and excitement, then obtaining sexual pleasure through such visual physical and verbal assaults will definitely not promote more kindness and generosity in the relationship.
A healthy relationship involves trust and communication, while pornography isolates consumers and exacerbates the vicious cycle of shame, thereby reducing trust and communication in the relationship. It also spreads a lie: getting along with others requires sexual attraction - that's all. In fact, healthy, successful relationships and commitments require effort, creativity, and sacrifice, and sex is not always enjoyable. But this does not mean that its value or the establishment of close relationships is diminished, nor is it something worth striving for.
3. Pornographic films do not demonstrate how wonderful it is to truly love someone.
Yes, a romantic relationship is indeed full of challenges, but pornographic films also fail to capture how wonderful it is to love someone and be loved by someone in the ups and downs of life.
Pornography will never be anyone's life companion or close friend; it cannot replace a person who loves you and fights for you. It cannot give you true intimacy and sexual attraction. In real life, you can share your life with others. You can be with them, listen to their laughter, listen to their tears. You can fall in love with their smiles, their conversation, their sense of humor, and perhaps most importantly, their hearts and personalities.
Love is an adventure - an opportunity to walk hand in hand with your partner and face all the challenges and joys of life together. Pornography, on the other hand, merely exaggerates and unrealistically portrays the physical pleasure of sex, separating it from a genuine intimate relationship. Sex is no longer a beautiful and meaningful part that holds a relationship together, brings people closer, and enhances their feelings for each other. Instead, it has become a flat, selfish, empty, and contrived script fabricated for performance and self-satisfaction.
Don't get me wrong. Ideally, sexual intimacy should make both parties feel pleasure. But pornographic films ignore this point - sex is about shared pleasure, mutual respect, and mutual consent. However, a study shows that in the most popular video clips on a major porn website, 78% of men reached orgasm, while only 18.3% of women did.
In the end: Pornographic films ignore the fact that although interacting with real people can sometimes be difficult, it is always worth it. Don't be deceived by false love. Pornographic films kill love. But love is worth fighting for.