After divorce, how to deal with sexual life can be an emotional experience for men. Over the years, I have been guiding those men who are facing insecurity. I have seen one after another of these men fall into the same severe self-doubt, which has killed their possibility of having a perfect sexual life. Our sexual lifestyle begins long before we go to bed.

"I have never failed in any matter. Why would I fail in this one?"

This issue has been bothering men all along. Once the mediation and court hearings are over, the settlement agreement and custody agreement are completed, and the final judgment is signed... Once the excitement fades away... the novelty also disappears, leaving them alone, in a too quiet house.

"I've succeeded in everything. How could I have messed up this matter so badly?" There is no good answer to this question.

I kept asking myself: Maybe I should care more about her. Maybe I shouldn't work so much, but I did all this for us. If her mother hadn't interfered so much, it would have been better. I wish she had agreed to hire a nanny at that time so that we could have more time to go out. I shouldn't have agreed to have a third child. This put too much pressure on us. The pandemic made both of us nervous. I should have been more patient. Why did I leave like that? Why did I have an affair? She deserves to hate me.

Self-hatred: I did the most important thing wrong. My marriage failed. I felt extremely ashamed. I had wanted to keep this relationship going, but when things got tough, I left. This shows that as a man, I couldn't even persevere in difficult situations? I abandoned my wife and children. I'm worse off than failure. I'm worthless.

Defense: It's no big deal. Nowadays, that's how people get divorced. Love is not about lasting forever. Everyone should have a wonderful marriage. Monogamy doesn't work. Children will adapt. My ex-wife and I are still friends and we jointly raise the children. She's a good mother. I'm happier living alone. We weren't a good match when we were together. This way is better for everyone now.

All men have one thing in common: they feel very lonely after divorce. No matter how fulfilling their work and friendships are, life loses its meaning without a woman to share it with. For many men, this is the only thing they lack. A woman who can have sex with them in one night. A person with whom they can share their lives.

However, men always think: "I messed up once, I'm afraid I'll mess up again." This is why it is so crucial for them to stop avoiding and start addressing the issues that have led them into trouble.

Too many men try to numb their pain by burying themselves in work and drinking. They have to stop running around, sort out their own problems, before they can get what they truly desire. Some men just want to meet a new person again after all these years, but this is rarely as easy as they think. Women rarely actively pursue men, and this can be more difficult than they imagine.

For many men, their wives are the only woman they will be with throughout their lives, or for a very long period of time. Although some men desire to have sexual relations with many women, there are also many men who truly only want to enjoy wonderful sex with the woman they deeply love. If they can find a way, they are willing to maintain this relationship forever.

For these men, the emotional impact of sexual life after divorce is tremendous. They struggle with remorse, self-doubt and a sense of failure. Their self-confidence has been severely damaged, to the point where they are unwilling to continue and are reluctant to be intimate with another woman. One of the main reasons for the breakdown of marriage is dissatisfaction in sexual life, which makes men worry that the same situation will repeat itself in the next relationship. They have wisely considered this, because they are probably right. Unless they take the necessary actions to maintain a long-term and satisfying sexual relationship, this situation will recur.

We are both the source of our own problems and the source of our own happiness. Only when we take on our personal responsibilities can we finally start to build the life we desire. Most sexual problems are deeply rooted in men's psychology. They are often typical manifestations of failures, unworthiness, and abuse in childhood. Men repeat these experiences in various ways over and over again until they recover.

I have seen many men struggling with sexual performance anxiety after divorce. Perhaps during their marriage, they did or said something that led to the formation of sexual insecurity. If a man feels ashamed because of premature ejaculation, inability to maintain an erection, or complete inability to ejaculate, this will cause a vicious cycle of shame and insecurity, which will only exacerbate these problems.

After divorce, it is very important for men to take time to heal. Many men are accustomed to thinking that taking time to heal is a sign of weakness, but the reality is that not doing so is irresponsible. Moreover, if they don't do this, they will never be able to have a truly satisfying sex life or emotional connection.

If a man wants to have the most wonderful sex in his life, he must devote himself to this aspect. Just learning some techniques and trying them in the bedroom is not enough. All the things worth having in life require time and effort to strive for. Wonderful sex is no exception, and it is definitely worth it.