Hello, Dr. Happy Pi! I myself am also a nerd and I'm a bit confused. So, I'm a guy and I'm looking for a date. The problem is... I'm a man and I want to play the "female" role in a relationship; I'm rather submissive.

First of all, I am attracted by the typically masculine traits found in tomboys and women. Muscles are my nemesis. I like leadership, bravery, rational thinking, heroism, a sense of protection, confidence, and the willingness to use violence when necessary.

In contrast, female traits are either unimportant or completely unattractive to me. The least attractive qualities for me are obedience, physical weakness, timidity (if that counts), and pacifism. In fact, it would be ideal if the woman I like were "one of the men".

Then let me talk about my body shape. I'm 5 feet 6 inches tall/167 centimeters. For American men, I'm considered short - this has led to me being rejected by others. I know that many women prefer petite figures, but personally, I also like this. I quite like being a bit taller. However, if my partner is the same height as me or taller than me, that would be perfect for me. I'm more concerned about my physique rather than my height, so being tall is not necessarily a problem for me. I just don't like having a bulky figure.

And now you might have noticed that in a relationship, I prefer to play the role of a supporter. I would follow her wishes and cook for her, clean up, and even make her feel strong and reliable, like a hero.

I tried it online, but got nothing. At work, I also tried dating two women with a bit of tomboyishness, but they were both lesbians. What should I do? I know many women like "masculine" men, but I'm not. I originally wanted to switch roles, so how should I go about dating?

Well, you're not alone. Four years ago, a very popular meme began to spread, like this:

"Why would a quiet and leisurely man choose a noisy and passionate woman?"

"Someone must tell the waiter that I ordered mashed potatoes, and that person won't be me."

By the same token, I think that when an entire generation of players plays "Baldur's Gate 3" and encounters Karah - the "demonic muscular mom" at the party - they will all experience a certain release. And, you know, Karah was definitely the love interest that Tav chose for me when I was playing the original version of "Baldur's Gate". Her voice, personality (Samantha Beart's performance is very spot-on) combined with her ability to bench press men, just her presence alone is enough to make people hold their breath.

And I also hope that her hands could be like this as well.

I can also tell you that there really are women who are tall, fit, confident, and possess a protective instinct. I know several of them. However, as is often the case, when you are looking for a specific type of person, the aimless, shotgun-like approach of randomly searching everywhere simply won't work. Maybe, maybe you will have good luck by chance, but more likely, you will come up empty-handed and occasionally even encounter false leads. Just like in many situations, if you want to find the person who is most compatible with you, you must aim precisely and search purposefully.

You can't just walk into any club or bar and expect to find an Amazonian warrior. Again, this is an unflattering metaphor, but if you're hunting a lion, you wouldn't go to Anchorage, Alaska, but rather the Serengeti plains. If you want to find the Hippolyta or Atalanta you've been dreaming of, you have to stay in the place where they are for a while.

If you do a little research beforehand, it will also be helpful. Just randomly pick a tomboy or a woman who looks more like a man to shoot at, it means that the chance of encountering a lesbian is much higher than that of encountering a woman who has sex with a man.

There are several methods to increase your chances of finding the right partner. First of all, if you are going to use these apps, you must not only ensure that you use the correct app, but also adjust your profile to target a specific female group. Compared with Tinder or Hinge, on an app like Feel'd, you are more likely to find strong women who seek more submissive men. You also need to set your height range to 5 feet 8 inches (about 173 centimeters) or higher, search for specific interests such as sports, Crossfit, MMA, weightlifting, fitness or other sports activities, and choose the most extensive "spending a good time with a man" option provided by the search function.

Also, you need to clearly demonstrate that you are someone who aspires to be a good wife and mother/household husband/supporter, rather than someone seeking a more "traditional" relationship where people adhere to the expected gender roles. In the photos, it would be best to highlight your cooking skills, cleaning abilities, and gentle nature, so as to help those who are looking for a man like you see your value.

But the online aspect is only part of it. The other part is to go to places where you are more likely to meet people. This means you have to start doing some research, understanding the surrounding environment, and perhaps be willing to expand your overall search scope.

The most obvious place to start now is to look for fitness gyms - not the usual Planet Fitness or 24-hour chain gyms, but the places where competitive bodybuilders train. Although these places are mostly filled with fitness enthusiasts who are after testosterone, you are most likely to find female bodybuilders and powerlifters there - their physiques meet your expectations.

You can also start to pay attention to those who are passionate about the Olympic sports. For instance, the physique required to succeed in events like discus throw, shot put or javelin throw is more in line with your goal. Or you can consider martial arts, especially those fighting styles such as judo or jiu-jitsu in the martial arts gym, as well as the gym for mixed martial arts (MMA).

Now I would like to remind you that many women who love sports may be more interested in those who pursue a sports lifestyle - this is not only reflected in dietary restrictions, but also in the control of time. Not every woman who loves sports wants to find a partner who also loves sports, but if you can prove that your lifestyle is compatible with hers, your success rate will be higher. Additionally, it should be noted that the greater the intensity of the exercise - such as CrossFit - the more likely they are to want someone who can keep up with their pace.

The reason I mentioned this is that although it's unknown to everyone, athletes often date non-athletes. But they don't want to be regarded as exhibitionists, nor do they want their passion to be seen as a personal sex vending machine for someone else. Just like the women in yoga classes get tired of men who only stare at women in tight clothes and want to set up dates with them, athletes won't appreciate men who give the impression that they came here specifically to look for unconventional sexual partners. So, you need to be cautious. It's best to find a gym or group that interests you, even if you're not looking for a poster girl like Julie Bell.

Depending on where you live, you might also want to start looking for more remote areas. Once you start venturing into more remote regions, you will find that there are more lifestyles and enterprises oriented towards hunting/agriculture/sheep ranching. You will notice that more women "are like men" in that they tend to engage in more physical labor or arduous work, which in turn leads to stronger functional muscles and strength.

This also applies to areas with a high volume of outdoor/exploration tourism, including hiking, rafting, rock climbing, horseback riding, and so on.

Let me say it again, this is about lifestyle. If you don't want to live in the countryside, then hop onto the "Farmers Only" bandwagon and find someone who can toss you around like a clover. Doing so will only waste your time and theirs. Some people might be satisfied with long-distance relationships, such as when you come out of the closet yourself or they go to the city together on weekends. But if your lifestyle doesn't match theirs, no matter how much you admire the muscular guys, it won't help.

One unusual field that you might be interested in is the "Society for Creative Anachronism" (SCA), specifically for warriors and armored warriors. Although the number of women and armored vehicle warriors may be slightly smaller, depending on the kingdom, the warriors you encounter often have the body type and personality you desire. Additionally, the relationship between squires/servants and knights may be very similar to the kind you envision.

Even so, I still need to repeat this point and emphasize that a compatible lifestyle and hobbies are an important part of overall compatibility. SCA is a very serious subculture group, and "Armored Warrior" is also a similarly serious and dedicated subculture group within it. The entire process requires a significant amount of time, energy, and money, so I wouldn't consider it a niche single group that can be easily joined or left. However, if this can catch your attention and you are willing to truly participate in it, you might find an Amazonian female warrior who is looking for a dedicated sommelier.

Now, the last point you need to remember might seem counterintuitive: You might be more compliant and more willing to play the role of a woman in this relationship, but you still need to take the initiative. Compliance does not mean passivity. Showing interest and clearly indicating that you want to go on a date with someone - rather than treating female bodybuilders as exhibitionists as some men do - is very important. Even aggressive women face huge social pressure and have to act less proactive. Your willingness to take the initiative means you will reduce many concerns like "I don't know if he really likes me". You should clearly state that you are attracted to someone because they can hold you in their arms like a kitten, rather than ignoring this feeling. Then, you can provide all kinds of baked goods and comfortable massages for them after they exercise.

Good luck to you.