Sex is not black and white. It can be passionate red, cheerful yellow, or even various shades of blue, depending on your preferences and tastes.
For those who enjoy breaking the norm in sexual activities, this is not an accidental or casual tendency. In fact, there are reasonable psychological and physiological reasons behind this inclination.
So, if you enjoy rough sex in the bedroom, here are 411 tips to tell you why you like it, how it affects or ruins a relationship, and how to enjoy it safely.
Are you ready to delve deeply into your inner thoughts and sexual desires?
The Psychology Behind Rough Sex
Do you like to ride the most thrilling roller coasters in the amusement park? Do you enjoy finding endless excitement in horror movies, where you rush to cover your eyes with a blanket and are so scared that your soul leaves your body? The same principle applies to rough sex as well.
All these scenes have a touch of horror, but they also promise that everything will eventually get better. The roller coaster will stop, the movie will end, and if you are in a trustworthy relationship, rough sex is just a brief and intense moment of passion.
In short, for many of us as human beings, we are drawn to dangerous situations.
But of course, there are other factors that can affect the duration of this game.
Urgency: When you have a rising desire for your partner, the urgency sets off an intense need for immediate satisfaction in the brain.
Trust: For both men and women, trust is a huge factor when it comes to having rough sex. When someone is pinned down and participating in forced consent, trust is an imperative element. Both partners must know that their play partner will stop when asked to.
Psychological Health: Those who enjoy it rough tend to fear that they might have some kind of psychological disorder of some sorts. But rest assured, this is not the case. In fact, Dr. George Simon, PhD in clinical psychology, revealed that – as long as your bedroom antics don’t transcend into your everyday life, you’re 100 percent A-OK!
Angry Sex: Why Is It So Good?
Angry sexual encounters involve strong emotional elements. When you are attracted to someone's body but cannot tolerate their other aspects, your brain will block out these negative emotions and focus on the visual stimulus at hand.
The four regions of the brain release a series of hormones, such as dopamine, serotonin and adrenaline. This powerful "cocktail" will make you feel good, happy, full of a sense of achievement, and ready to take action.
So, when you encounter someone who is good-looking but has a bad personality, what will you get? You will have a strong sexual desire for them, while also feeling hatred or anger towards them. And by having sexual relations with them, you can release some of the tension and emotions that you might not want to truly confront.
But why do we use sexuality to express our emotions, whether positive or negative? Dr. Fran Wolfish, a psychotherapist, says this actually stems from our childhood.
For instance: If the father of a young girl lacks emotional connection, she might be content with less when seeking meaning, acceptance and love.
As time goes by, she will realize that these men haven't given her what she needs, and this in turn will lead her to express her anger through sex.
Interestingly, this is not just a gender issue. The research shows that boys who do not receive much care from their mothers tend to seek out less attractive women.
About four months later, they began to notice the bad behavior and might feel resentment and anger towards their partner.
Does rough sexual behavior have the ability to either strengthen or destroy a relationship?
If both parties actively enjoy rough sex and try to dominate and submit to each other, this can actually make them closer. Sex is a key factor in a successful and happy relationship, and this is no secret.
However, what would happen if the sexual desires and fantasies of two people were not in agreement? Many couples break up or get divorced due to sexual issues, but this is not always the case.
In fact, Isadora Alman, a certified marriage counselor and relationship therapist, stated that there are several ways to address this issue.
Treatment for sexual desire mismatch
Compromise
Alman believes that couples with incompatible sexual desires should "get what they want from somewhere else". That is to say, both parties should compromise and customize their bedroom activities so that both can satisfy their own needs.
For instance, love or emotions. If one party feels that one or two aspects are missing in their relationship, they can satisfy this by hugging friends, family members or children.
Furthermore, both parties should consider whether they are willing to occasionally meet the other party's needs. This not only strengthens the relationship but also brings happiness to both of them.
Consider an open relationship
An open relationship refers to having multiple sexual partners with the mutual consent of both parties. If you find it comfortable, then it might be an excellent solution to major problems
