If we set aside romantic sentiments, complex social rules and obligations, as well as general philosophical speculation, the purpose of humanity is very simple: We live to ensure the continuation of the genetic lineage. That's all. Men want to ensure that their genes can be passed on, while also preventing other men from impregnating the same woman, so as to ensure that they do not raise other people's children. Women want the genes of men to help their children survive, so that they can, in turn, reproduce and help raise and protect the children until they reach adulthood. However, the methods we use to achieve these goals may be quite tricky. From a strictly reproductive perspective, both men and women are interested in having sexual relations with multiple partners; for men, this helps increase the chances of getting a woman pregnant, while for women, the ambiguous parent-child relationship actually encourages their shared responsibility for the children.

This does not yet touch upon the emotional and social aspects - the role of sex in strengthening social bonds, the fact that humans are one of the three species that engage in sexual activity strictly for pleasure, and so on.

All of this is presented in a very lengthy way to demonstrate that the difficulties of monogamy are scientifically supported. In fact, the degree of difficulty of monogamy is estimated to be that among all married people in the United States, approximately 30% to 60% have had at least one affair during their dating period.

Let's take some time to consider this figure. Approximately one-third to half of married people have experienced this. Moreover, don't assume that this only happens to men; over the past 20 years, the number of women leaving monogamous relationships has been on the rise.

If you want to prevent your girlfriend or wife from cheating, then you need to understand why she is cheating... and what you can do about it.

Sperm competition and mating partnership

Before we begin, you should know something about humans: We are not biologically suited to monogamy. That's true. From an evolutionary perspective, our physical structure was built on the premise that we are a promiscuous species. For men, we have evolved many strategies to maximize our reproductive opportunities while minimizing the reproductive chances of our rivals; this is called sperm competition. When a man is away from his partner, his sperm count - and his libido - increase in order to better suppress the sperm of rivals when the partner cheats. The shape of a human penis is like a rubber broom; the outwardly expanded glans and the conical body of the penis help to scrape the sperm of rivals off the partner. Similarly, if a man has reason to suspect infidelity in the other party, he not only pushes deeper (in an attempt to remove as much unwanted sperm as possible), but the resulting orgasm will also be more intense and the ejaculation volume will be larger, in order to wash away the residue of the other man.

From the perspective of females, there are also indications that having multiple partners for motherhood provides an advantage. In fact, many researchers believe that the sexual calls made by females are a mating signal that can attract other males to participate - this helps to conceal the potential parent-child relationship of the child and increases the community's investment in the well-being of the infant.

So, let me emphasize again: From a purely biological perspective, men and women are both designed to have multiple sexual partners. This is not a judgment on monogamy being good or bad, or whether it is worth pursuing. What needs to be clarified is that it is not something we are born with, and it may be extremely difficult.

However, it should be noted that: Biology is the foundation, not destiny. Humans are complex animals, and so are our emotions; there are many reasons why we have sex, and it is not just for reproduction. In fact, in terms of these factors, reproduction actually ranks quite low. The majority of the reasons for having sex are related to emotions... The same is true for the reasons why we deceive our partners.

As this blog is dedicated to promoting successful relationships, let's take a look at some reasons why women might deceive their partners.

Reason one: She did not receive emotional satisfaction.

I have said many times before that the half-life of romantic love is between six months and one year. After that, the initial excitement and passion gradually fade away, and the relationship begins to settle down and become more intimate. Unfortunately, people tend to get into a routine; new things become the norm, even the expected ones. You are no longer as passionate about pursuing her, so you won't praise her as quickly or enthusiastically as before. You don't notice her new hairstyle, or her new dress... a dress she specially bought for you. Now you are more relaxed and at ease in this relationship, and you allow yourself to be more selfish. You don't invest as much time and energy into her as before. When you come home from a long day of work or class, you just want to play a few hours of Call of Duty to relax; the last thing you want to hear is your girlfriend complaining about office politics, or that girl in the class whom she always thinks is better than her. The days you spend together start to become blurry; getting up, having breakfast, working, having dinner, sleeping, repeating monotonously. The only place you can put her on your mind is... the only place you can think of is that cute girl you always run into at Starbucks in the morning while stopping to have coffee.

Unknowingly, your girlfriend has developed an ambiguous relationship with that guy in the office who has a dazed look in his eyes. Why? Because you failed to meet her emotional needs... that's why she went elsewhere to seek something else.

How to stop it:

Women are emotional creatures; it is crucial for them to feel loved, desired, and appreciated, especially in a relationship. Sadly, our society makes them obedient to men to avoid upsetting them or becoming a burden to them. As a result, women rarely express their emotional needs openly. Many times, they know they have needs but cannot express them in words, which confuses men and frustrates and angers women.

You need to avoid the old conventions in your relationships. Following rules and having a sense of familiarity can make people numb, which in turn leads to boredom... and boredom is the fatal flaw of a relationship. You need to incorporate a certain degree of impulsiveness and unpredictability to keep the relationship fresh and exciting.

Furthermore, you need to keep in mind: Communication is crucial. You must be emotionally honest with her and be willing to understand her own emotional needs. If she feels unable to communicate her needs with you, if she feels that her problems or needs will be ignored or overlooked by you, she will start looking for someone who can appreciate her.

Reason two: Sex becomes boring

You two used to hold hands and be inseparable. Whenever you had the chance, you would rush straight to the nearest level surface, or the nearest broom closet, or the bathroom. You used to grab her hair and bite her neck. She used to slap your bottom like an angry nun; she used to bend down like a pretzel, and you were the undisputed king of oral sex. You tried all the positions in the book, and some of them were even invented by you yourself. The orgasms came quickly, intensely, and everywhere - they were the essence of the word "sex". Sex could last for hours. You used to have sex like gods.

So, how about now? Once a month, the missionary position for about 7-8 minutes... If you're lucky, two times will do. Half the time, you find that the only way to reach orgasm is by fantasizing about someone else. Damn, sometimes you even actively avoid sex. You never thought you would do this, but now sex has become so boring and dull that sometimes you'd rather just browse RedtTube and masturbate.

Then one day, you arrived home an hour earlier than usual and found your dearest person riding on your boss's motorcycle, as if she was about to win the triple crown.

How to stop it:

Just as the infatuation of a new romance fades away, so do the physical passions and desires. Time, comfort and familiarity can cause the desires in any relationship to diminish; Billy Bob Thornton once described Angelina Jolie this way: "She might be the most sexy woman in the world, but over time, it's like having sex on a sofa."

Let me say it again: Routine activities lead to boredom, and boredom leads to the death of interpersonal relationships... especially boring sex.

Desires will ebb and flow over time, but if you want to avoid boredom, you must actively engage in your sexual life. By the way, this doesn't mean twisting your hips. You can't expect to maintain passion for life just by having minimal foreplay and then engaging in missionary-style or woman-on-top sex for a few minutes. Just adding the reverse position won't do either. First, change your sexual location. If you and your partner have sex mostly in the bedroom... then get out of bed. Have sex on the floor. Have her lie on the sofa. Have sex in the shower, in the closet... Anywhere is fine, but don't keep repeating the same place.

Don't underestimate the importance of foreplay; for you, it might just be a necessary step before you reach the climax, but for her, it is crucial. The more orgasms you can bring her - not just through penetration - the more satisfied she will be. The more satisfied she is, the less likely she is to betray you.

While doing this, you should also strive to improve your communication skills. Open and honest communication and honesty are absolutely crucial. Both of you need to open your hearts and be honest with each other. If she feels that sex is getting less and less exciting and yet she doesn't dare to tell you, then she might become more interested in other men... Those men who she no longer repeats the same sexual behavior over and over again. Don't forget, be willing to talk about what you really want. Be willing to explore your sexual fantasies. You might be stuck in the rut of sex, but what you really want is something like that between a principal and a naughty student... She might want you to tie her up and spank her bottom, but she's not quite brave enough to admit it to you.